Brawlarinas vs. Surly Gurlies

On the eve of an embarrassing playoff loss by the Arizona Cardinals, the lovely ladies of Arizona Roller Derby set out to redeem the good name of Arizona sports. The Brawlarinas, coming off a bye, are anxious to defend their undefeated season against the Surly Gurlies who are determined to de-throne the current Queens of the Rink.

Rayna Rage for the Brawlas and Gratuitous Violet for the Surlies up to jam first as both teams pull out their weapons and attempt to throw the first points up on the board.

The Brawlas draw first blood by grabbing 8 points courtesy of Rayna Rage and Divine in her very first bout as a Brawla. Both teams cycle through their jammers early in the first half; Rayna, Divine, Family Jules and Certified Lunachick for the Brawlas; Violet, Yellow Fever and C Ducktive for the Surlies; but scoring is tough as a result of the punishing defense being served up all over the track. With 16 minutes left to go in the first half a few costly penalties leave the Brawlas with a thinned out pack and the Surlies take full advantage to pull off a 7 point lead. But the Surlies are not on top for long as one by one the Brawlas emerge fresh out of the box and instantly make trouble for Surly jammers. The wall of Brawlas constructed by Hacker Too Pieces, Book ‘Em Betty, Psycho Sybil, Destructo Kitty and French Lyck cannot be penetrated and the Brawlas grab the lead once again, 31-29. With five minutes left to go in the half a fatal Surly penalty puts jammer Fever in the box and leaves Rayna skating wild on the track to the tune of a 20 point jam! This certainly swings momentum for the weary pirates who are down at the half 69-38.

After a much needed break the Surlies come rolling out with a vengeance working quickly to close the gap. The Surly D steps it up and Surly Gurlie DomiSkatrix plants purple tutus all over the track in an attempt to give her ship mates a chance to score. The short lived rally gives the Surlies 10 unanswered points, however it is not enough and the Brawlas begin to fight back. Three scoreless Surly jams in a row fuel the Brawlas second wind as they begin rapid fire scoring with 5 minutes left to go in the bout. A nasty fall in turn three brings the EMT’s out for a quick check on Rum Buncious who is ok and back in for the next jam. Two more jams left for a Surly miracle, however, despite all of their efforts, the Surlies are forced to surrender the booty to the Brawlas 113-75.

Next Bout: February 20th , Brawlarinas vs. Bad News Beaters

Preview: The last Brawla/Beater bout was an exciting see-saw match that ended with Deez Nuts and Rayna Rage in an offensive shootout and sent the Beaters home with a tough loss. Don’t miss the next chapter in this derby saga as the Beaters come back to settle the score with the not-so-tiny-dancers and try to put an end to the Brawlas perfect season.

-Mrs. Robinson

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• Real Women

  Arizona Roller Derby is a dynamic group of women from all walks of life. From teachers to bankers and home-makers to atomic scientists, the organization is owned and run by women determined to revive this classic American sport on their own terms.

• Real Sport

  Arizona Roller Derby is a founding member of the Women’s Flat Track Derby Association, the nation’s largest and most successful governing body for flat track roller derby.